Exhaustion Doesn’t Care About Gender Roles

This tweet is a nice example of the sort of stuff I use to eat right up. This insistence that gender roles makes life easier. Nope. I am now more of the philosophy that wherever you go, there you are. Be it in the workplace or the home – life is still there and life is exhausting.

Why is it when women have a career its assumed that a woman’s family life is going to fall apart, but when she is the #BossBabe of her own home, it will thrive? The working conditions for both lifestyles are often the same and can be hostile. Long hours, bad hours (night wakings), being on call (with kids you are always “turned on”), stuck with jobs outside of your “role”, unappreciative boss (husband), and low or no pay just to name a few. Many marriages where the wife is a SAHM and the husband has a career fail as well. One example – the wife is too tired for sex because of being “touched out” with the kids all day. No different than being tired from a demanding job. Exhaustion is exhaustion. It doesn’t matter how you get there and it gives no regards to gender roles.

As a SAHM, feeling under appreciated, overwhelmend and tired is the often the norm. When you have three young kids there is just no way around it. The way this is presented suggests that if you just did your proper gender role and stayed home all of that overwhelm and exhaustion would just disappear. It doesn’t. Being a SAHM, is just living on the other side of the same cloth.

Gender roles did not work for me. It only created rigid inflexibility where what we do is determined by our sexual parts vs our unique skill sets. They only give the illusion of working. Like a policy that looks good on paper, but doesn’t work in practice; yet everyone follows because that is what everyone has always done.

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